What my Children have taught me about God!

I am going to submit this to Everyday Mommy's writing from the heart contest : What My Children have taught me about God.

The deadline is coming up fast and I knew that I definitely wanted to participate. I was thinking about this yesterday during Communion at Church so here goes.

I am so blessed to have my children. It was a long journey to have my kids home with me and that in itself has taught me patience. My oldest son Dylan James birth, came upon us very quick. An emergency c-section and there he was all 1lb 2 ounces of him. He was very little and oh so cute to a mommys eye. He only lived 5 days and he went on to be with Jesus. My dad said when he died that everyone's life has a purpose and he fulfilled his. That was so hard to hear but I understand now. What did Dylan teach me about God? That God loved me so much he sent His ONLY son to die on the cross. I love others but not enough for my son to die for them and if I did they better be worthy! God did it despite of our stinking sins.

After Dylan died we were patient to get pregnant again and then we were pregnant with a girl : Olivia. Olivia was born early too, all 1lb 7ounces of her. She was much healthier than Dylan but had her challenges too. She had a brain bleed and other setbacks but through all 87 days I pressed in to God even more. One day while the doctor told of us her grade 4 brain bleed I was holding her but in that very sad moment I realized that she was holding me, very much like God was holding me.

That was it for us, we couldnt handle the pain of seeing another baby go through the process of life outside of the womb. But God had another plan: we were unexpectedly pregnant with Ava. God sent such great doctors that ultimately might have held off Avas birth longer but Ava wouldnt be left out of the preemie party her brother and sister started. She had a knot in her umblical cord, indicative of her personality today.

After having Dylan and Olivia so early I was so bitter and jaded about pregnancy. I longed to be "large and in charge" but knew that would never be for me. When Ava came into the world, I dont know how to explain it but her birth healed me. I knew she was the last and I knew that my bitterness and hurt were over.

Ava stayed in the hosptial for 62 days. Her only real scare was the need for blood. There is another lessaon about God. The blood of Jesus washes away our sins but I saw that on such a new personal level. As the blood of that wonderful donor went into my little girls body, life came back in. She was tiny and so pale but the next day, she was more feisty and beet red. Thank you Jesus for life changing blood!

I am so blessed with my little girls and little boy. Sometimes I think, just give me some peace already but Ive already the silence of death. Does God think that when we call on Him? "I hear Kari but Im busy." I highly doubt it. Being a mom gives a new perspective on God. I love the thought of His mercies being new every morning. At night I am so ready for my beauties to go to bed, as Im exhausted. In the morning they are refreshed, as am I and I love to play with them.

Olivia is now 2 1/2 and finally a full time walker. Ava is 1 1/2 and a full time walker and climber. Thank you Jesus for my sweet girls!